I love my wife's humbleness

Let me explain, since this covers many areas.

My wife is humble enough to know and recognize and admit when she is wrong. My wife is humble enough to say sorry when she hurts me or offends me. My wife is humble enough to realize when she needs to ask for forgiveness and asks for it.

See, even though I may have a rough & tough exterior, or I may act all macho, like nothing hurts me... I am in fact a very sensitive person. I always have been. I guess I'm part of the minority of men who are more right-brained than the average man (in other words, I can be as emotional and "in touch" with my feelings, as I can be logical and facts-driven... though I may not always have the words to describe what I am going through).

That is why it is so important to me that my wife does say sorry and does recognize it when she makes a mistake that hurts me. I've been hurt emotionally most of my life, with the other person never making much of an effort to correct the wrong or help heal the wound. However, knowing that my wife wants to see me whole, and is willing to set aside her own ego and pride for my benefit makes me feel loved.

I love that my wife understands me better than anyone else

I love that my wife tries to understand me. And because of that, she is easily the person who knows and understands me best.

For one, she doesn't allow me to wallow in self-pity and drift into depression by cutting off negative talk, and cutting me off when I begin to slip into that darkness. However, she also will allow me to express my feelings and how I see various things, even if it may seem negative.

And, even though she has some counselling/psychology background, and she studied applied human relations, she doesn't use her "techniques" on me, but rather listens to me. I know that she is the main reason why I am learning to express my thoughts and feelings into words. As many people will attest to, men (IN GENERAL) are terrible at this... but my wife has helped me with that. And that is the key for anyone to know and understand another person.

Thank you, Love!

I love my wife's warmth

This has two sides to it.

First, I love cuddling and hugging my wife. I love the feel of the warmth of her body. I especially realize it and miss it when she goes away, like she has this week since Wednesday. I won't see her until Saturday. There's a comfort, a peace and a feeling of love when I am in her arms, and she in mine.

Second, is the warmth of her heart. She has a love for people, especially children that I love. She knows how to talk to people who are hurting and in pain. She is full of campassion and love. But she is not a push-over, as I can be many times.

I miss my wife.

I love my wife's differences (part 5)

I love that my wife can talk! And I don't mean in the physiological sense... though I guess it would make life very different. What I mean is that my wife is a conversationalist... like every other woman, I suppose. Different studies put women's daily word count somewhere more than double that of a man's daily word count. WOW!

But you know what, I love that about my wife. One of the reasons is that I probably fall well below the average male in his daily word count. At least, I used to until I began to talk and have meaningful conversations with my wife. I used to be very quiet. And, it seemed, that I naturally would keep things to myself. I wouldn't talk much, unless I felt that what I had to add would be important and make some difference to the conversation... from my male-left-brained perspective. But what my wife has taught me is that just talking about how my day was with her IS important and makes a huge difference to her emotionally.

Just talking, about anything and everything, is so important to her, and I am slowly learning how to talk with her. She is also learning when enough is enough, and my brain is so full that I cannot take much conversation, and just sitting together snuggling is enough :) (oops, did I just reveal that I, a man, like to snuggle... oh, well!)

I love my wife!

I love my wife's differences (part 4)

I love the fact that my wife is much more level-headed than I am. I tend to get caught in the heat of the moment. I get extremely passionate and emotional... and reason will often leave with that. My wife on the other-hand seems to remain calm and level-headed even other stress and extraordinary circumstances. She can think straight through difficult and emotional events... however, in other stressful and emotional events, I tend to be more even-tempered.

I guess for the circumstances that cause me to become emotional (i.e. things I am much more passionate about), my wife keeps her cool and is able to think clearly. But in circumstances that cause my wife more emotional stress, I am usually able to keep cool and help steer her through it.

The more I think ablout it, the more I realize that my wife truly makes up for my weaknesses with her own strengths, and vice verse (though I think she tends to make up more for my weaknesses than I do hers).

I love my wife's differences.

I love my wife's differences (part 3)

I love that my wife is so good at multitasking. Actually, her multitasking capacity is greater than mine as well. This is not a pot-shot at myself. When I am focused on a task, I nail it and do it at a very high level of efficiency and effectiveness. My wife though, is able to have a multitude of projects going at once, with no apparent confusion between them... If I have too many things going on at once, I get lost as to which one I was working on and what tasks/things/ideas go with which project.

Our home would be a disaster zone if it wasn't for my wife's amazing multitasking skills. Our bills, various payments and bank accounts may be in disarray, if it were not for my wife. See, I'm the numbers person in the family, but to have everything running smoothly, that's where my wife comes in. She has brought so much peace and stress-relief into my life.

I love my wife's differences.

I love my wife's differences (part 2)

I love the musical differences in my wife.

My wife's a wonderful singer... I can barely hold a note.
My wife has a great ear for music... I am much more theoretical.

My wife loves R&B and some gospel... I'm a metal-head--the louder and faster, the better!

My wife is much more lead-oriented... I am definitely a rhythm guy.

My wife can nail the melodies and harmonies... I am purely a bass (instrumentally and even vocally when I do stretch out there).

Sure it can cause some friction when I want to listen to As I Lay Dying, but she wants to listen to Lauryn Hill. But it brings so much diversity and a chance to grow and expand myself. If nothing else, my wife challenges me to grow just by being herself!

I love my wife's differences.

I love my wife's differences

Last night, my wife and I attended the first class on building relationships, particularly marriage relationships. The main point the speaker made was that there are millions upon millions of differences between men and women, from physical to emotional differences. But the key is to value and honour those differences.

That really impacted me, and made me realize that the "differences" that seemed to frustrate me, was only due to my lack of understanding that they are differences. I am so thankful for the differences between my wife and I.

In particular, I love the fact that my wife can be so organized in her mind even when things in the house seem to be very disorganized. She has a plan and a place for everything. I often just get frustrated, because I focus on one thing, but the clutter distracts me... and so I can barely complete the one thing I wanted to in the first place. In essence, I get overwhelmed by seeing too many tasks and by trying to sort through them in my mind. My wife makes it look effortless and easy. Thank God one of us is like that!

I think this will be one of those on going ones. I love my wife's differences - part 1.

I love my wife's ears

Yesterday was Thanksgiving here in Canada... so I got to spend a whole day with my wife. It was great! And so, as we were together I was just thinking of different things I could write about. Her ears struck me... literally, she slapped me upside my head with her ears... I'm just kidding :)

Really, I looked at her ears and realized how beautiful they are to me. They are not too big, nor too small for her heaed. They do not protrude, nor are they plastered to her head. Her ears are also nicely rounded and formed, with no pointiness... not that any of these are bad characteristics. She also has nice plump (but not too plump) lobes. I've never found ears that have no or little lobe very attractive. My wife truly has beautiful ears to me.

Observing her ears reminded me of an Anthropology course I took back in college some 12 years ago. The professor was talking about various attributes in couples that seem to contribute to long-lasting relationships, based on some studies done in the States. And one of the attributes that seemed to coincide with the longest lasting relationships, and one of the most bizarre attributes, was lobe size (measuring from the bottom of the lobe to where the lobe connects to the head). A couple who has similarly sized lobes, seemed to last the longest in their relationship. It's funny how God sometimes brings two people together.

Believe me, I did not marry my wife because of her lobe size, but strangely enough, our lobes are very close in size. Funny, eh!? I guess we'll be together forever! (Understand, I don't really believe in these kind of things... love and marriage is a decision... a decision to love and a decision to work at it for your whole life)

I love my wife's ears!

I love my wife's forgiveness

Nothing is sweeter than when your wife forgives you!

About a month or a month and a half ago, I really hurt my wife. I did something really stupid that put a wedge between us... in fact, it had been 8 months (if not more) in the making, because I was not putting priority on our relationship. It seemed that I put everything else before my relationship with my wife, which, in my mind I wasn't, because I thought I was doing other things to take care of our relationship.

All that to say that it hit a climax recently. She had every right to be angry, hurt and upset. She had every right to never forgive me, because, in a sense, I took advantage of her love and trust. BUT...

She forgave me. It took some time, but she did forgive me. And yesterday, I was just thinking about it, and I realized (maybe "really" for the first time), how terrible and how hurtful it was what I did. If she feels that unloved when I hurt her... WHY would I do it again? I realized how stupid it is to say, "Well, I'll try not to hurt you." (Understand that we can never guarantee we won't do stupid things or hurt the other person, but when we say "I'll try" in a way we are not taking responsibility for our actions).

Something changed in my heart yesterday, and I realized how much I need to fight for this love with my wife. It is not "natural". And it was not "natural" for her to forgive me... but she did! And I love her for that!

PS. I'm probably going to write more on that idea of fighting for our love on my other blog, since this one is dedicated to the reasons I love my wife. So if you're interested go check it out!

I love my wife's domestic skills

In an age where we try to promote equality between the sexes, and many couples share household chores (don't get me wrong, we do share chores), I do have to say that I am so thankful for and totally appreciate my wife's skills in the home.

I am always amazed at how much she can accomplish in the house in an hour or two. She easily does double the amount of work that I seem to do. And I know why. She is so good at organizing things and making areas look neat and clean, even if everything is not organized and put away in its "right" place. That's where I often lose the battle with clutter. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, and so if I can get things into their "right" place, I get frustrated, and make a subconscious decision to ignore it and work on something less frustrating. But my wife just cuts through the clutter and makes the place look in order. That may be one of the greatest blessings to me... though I have not always shown it.

She knows how to clean, how do to laundry, how to iron (very important to me... I made a joke before I got married that the only thing I NEEDED my wife to do was the ironing, because that is my least favorite chore), how to cook (and she is a most excellent cook. I never have to worry about what I will eat for supper if I cannot get home early to make supper. Last night she made a great fish dish with vegetables on the side. It was so good that I have three servings!), how to paint, how to make a bed, how to wash dishes (this is another one that is so important to me. I can't stand finding food on a supposedly cleaned dish or utensil, or when people do not rinse their dishes after soaping them up... my wife does an excellent job... I never check my dishes and utensils before using them), pretty much anything that needs to be done in and around the house, my wife can do... even some gardening, though we are both learning that as we go.

And I also love the fact that my wife knew how to do all these domestic things before we got married. Having lived on my own, and having helped my mom with household chores when I lived with my parents, I don't think I could have handled having to teach my wife how to do all these things... especially laundry, since really all you have to do is read your labels.

Anyway, all to say that I so appreciate all my wife's hard work and efforts in the house. And I know I need to help a little more... so I also love the fact that she does not nag me about that :)

I love my wife!

I love my wife's face (part 3)

When my wife smiles it lights up her whole face... and melts my heart.

I love it when she smiles. She seems so happy and at peace and full of love. And it simply makes her look that much more beautiful. Her smile accents her cheeks. And when she smiles, her lips don't disappear and she shows just the right amount of teeth. It truly is a beautiful smile, on a beautiful face, on a super beautiful woman!

Be blessed!

I love my wife's face (part 2)

I have witnessed that women can get very sensitive about their looks... especially if you pinpoint something they are not happy with. So I tread in this area very carefully. I want everyone (especially Cindy) to know that I love my wife dearly, and in terms of physical beauty, there is no flaw on my wife in my eye.

Having said that, may I say that I love my wife's face. She has a full face. It is not sunken. It is not flat. Her face is curvy, if I can use that term to describe a face. She has full defined cheeks. It's not those chubby, baby cheeks people love to pinch, but beautiful full cheeks. Maybe, physiologically, it is really cheekbones that give the cheek definitions, but whatever it is, she's got it... and I love it!

I can look at her face all day... which reminds me... I don't have a picture of my wife on my desk! I'll bring one in tomorrow!

I love my wife's face (part 1)

The are so many aspects of a person's face, and I love all of them on my wife (I've already mentioned her eyes though). However, this is about something my wife does not have, and I love it! She does not have any moles or "beauty marks" on her face. Her face is "clean". Her skin is smooth and pure. There is something about beauty marks that I do not find attractice. That was one of the reason I did not find cindy crawford pretty... because she had one of those moles/beauty marks.

My wife's face is just so beautiful, and I love looking at her.

I love being near my wife

I don't know how to explain this one. I am happy just being near my wife. I am happy when I see her after a long day. I am happy to know that my wife is in our home with me. I'm happy to have her sit beside me. There's no need for words. Sometimes there's no need for a touch either. Sometimes, a look is all that is needed, and sometimes, even that is unnecessary. It's really abstract and intangible... but I'm sure others who have had that feelings, know exactly what I am talking about.

And it is very different from how you feel with other people. I have some really good friends I love to hang out with, but when I see them or when I'm with them, I don't get this feeling of love. There is a special connection with my wife... and if you do not have that with your spouse, you need to work on that. You need to protect your relationship with your spouse. Love requires work!

I can't wait to be with my wife tonight. We're going on a date!!!!

Be blessed!