I love my wife's patience

My wife is so patient. I know I have not fulfilled many of her wishes, desires and even expectations in our relationship. But she has put many of them on the back burner, while she helps me get through this difficult time in my life.

A lesser woman would probably have told me to %#$^ *&@, or at the very least given up and relagated herself to an emotionless relationship... which is what many women (and even men) go through in their marriages... sometimes for more than 25 years! Not my wife!

OK, sometimes it has taken me to pull it out of her... but that's just how much I love her and cherish her. I don't want her to become a loveless, empty, emotionless, depressed, 50-something mother of 3 (or more :D ). But, nevertheless, if she wasn't so patient with me, I'm sure I would have lost her a long time ago... and we've only been married for two and a half years!

I guess I'm making it sound like I'm really tough to live with, eh! :)

Irregardless... I see how patient she is. I know that our life is not where SHE would like it to be. I know, at the very least, that our filing is not where she would like it to be! But she wants to see me get to where I'd like to be for the time being... And I think that is so awesome of her! I'm going to plan something sweet for her!

I love that my wife puts up with my crap

Marriage can be tough, even in the best of circumstances and relationships. I thank God my wife puts up with my crap.

We've had a tough few months.. for various reasons. Ultimately, we were not spending enough time with each other. And I have been feeling very empty, very lonely. To use Dr. Harley's terminology, my love bank was in the red! It was overdrawn. I had nothing more to give. So this weekend, I kind of lost it.

However, even though my wife was tired as well, and her love tank was probably not full either, and her only desires was to curl up, go to bed and not deal with the issues... she listen to me... she cried with me (I'm man enough to admit that I cry)... and she wants to work through it all.

I know that we are often taught to just get over "petty" issues (issues our society or our culture considers petty), and to deal with our own issues. But it is so sweet and so encouraging to know that you have someone who wants to walk through those things with you.

Thank you, Sweetheart, for putting up with my "crap".

I love that my wife gets over problems quickly

The month of November has been a tough month on my relationship with my wife. We've been working a lot. Every weekend has been taken up by some kind of event or job to do. Last week, the whole week was spent volunteering for a conference hosted by our church (my wife was heading the registration). We have spent, maybe, 2 or 3 evenings together before this past Monday... And often the only thing we did was veg-out on the couch and watched TV, because we were so tired and burnt. This week was supposed to be different because we basically had the whole week (evenings) free. But what did we end up doing... vegging-out on the couch and watching TV! Some other things came up, and lo and behold, our free week ends up being all booked up.

This obviously caused some problems, some hurt feelings, some anger between myself and my wife. We talked about it yesterday. We shared how we were feeling. And, we didn't really finish dealing with everything, but come this morning, my wife was happy, smiling, and affectionate.

As I said, we're not where we want to be in our relationship. There are some issues we still need to talk about and negotiate. And what I am referring to here is not that we simply sweep our problems under the rug and not talk about them. We deal with them. But what I love about my wife is that she is happy with our relationship. She doesn't allow an argument or a problem affect her whole week. She doesn't allow some issue to keep her from loving me and showing her love to me. I guess, in other words, that would be described as not holding a grudge, or being forgiving. And that is what my wife is!

I love my wife's foot massages

OK... So I'm spoiled :)

We just had one of the craziest 2 weeks ever... I think I've mentioned it in a previous blog (or in my other blog). Anyway, my feet tend to hurt a lot... Bad shoes or bad arches or a mix of both with standing on my feet most of the day... Let's just say I don't want to be running a marathon once I get home from work!

But my wife will gladly take my poor little footsies, and gently massage them, and then get in deep where the pain is strongest. I haven't had anyone else give me a foot massage, so maybe this is a little biased (but it should be... It's my wife I'm talking about!), but, to me, after 5-10 minutes of her massaging my feet, I feel a million times better... THAT is a good foot massage!

BTW, I don't sit there and just receive, I reciprocate... And all you husbands out there should too!

I love my wife!

I love when my wife is in her element

Our church is hosting a conference this week called ICIN (check out the web-site), and my wife is one of the main organizers/administrators. I guess she would be the assistant to the person in charge of all the registration.

Anyway, I love watching her work. When she is "in" her element, she is so full of joy, racing here and there, working so efficiently, and "barking" out orders... ok, she doesn't bark out orders, but she is so good at delegating and motivating people.

I know that this is the kind or type of work she should really be doing. She's a people person, but an administrative people person. She's relational but in a work context. I am a people person too, but it's more laid back. I'd rather just hang with people than work with them... that doesn't really sound so good, eh :)

And I know she's going to do a great job thias week. I know that the conference will run so smoothly... because my wife is on the job!

I love when my wife takes time to relax

My wife is a "busy-bee". She works... and works... and works... and works. And it's not that she creates things to work at, there is tons of stuff to do, especially at home! :P

But, I am the type of person that needs to shut off sometimes, even when there is still tons of work to do. I need to "escape" and relax at times. And I am so appreciative that my wife acknowledges that and supports it and partakes in it.

Last night was a great example.

The previous week went like this:
Sunday Night - I closed at the coffeeshop
MOnday NIght - I closed at the coffeeshop
Tuesday Night - Marriage class and a church leaders meeting after that
Wednesday Night - played a concert at MacDonald college
Thursday Night - played a concert at Vanier College
Friday Night - house-sat a friend's place and Cindy did laundry
MOnday-Friday day - worked at Dawson
Saturday Morning - a Men's breakfast meeting, raked my friend's leaves
Saturday Afternoon - grocery shopping
Saturday Night - had a small get together with some friends at our place (means cooking and cleaning for us)
Sunday - Church and closed at the coffeeshop

This coming week I work during the day, and every evening we are either practicing for or in a conference, which includes all day Saturday!

So yesterday evening was really the only time we would have alone. And with dishes piles up in the sink, my wife was willing to ignore that and go see the Incredibles and just spend an evening in each others arms. I LOVED that... and I love my wife.

BTW, the Incredibles is a great movie. I think I might give a more detailed review of it soon.

I love my wife's cooking

My wife is a great cook. I'm glad that I don't have to teach her how to cook (I'm a decent cook myself). I'm glad to know that even if I am not able to get home on time to make supper, my wife can.

I especially enjoy cooking with her, when we prepare supper together.

She also makes a great curry. She was born in India, and she is part Chinese... two of my favorite cuisine styles! And she can prepare both! I'm really blessed

I love that my wife says "I love you"

I love it that my wife says "I love you" without any prompting or prodding or begging or asking.

I know how some people grew up nearly never hearing the words "I love you" and so in their adulthood, they do not know "how" to say "I love you." My wife and I both grew up in families where the words "I love you" were not overused... now don't misinterpret that to say we did not come from loving families. Yes, our families had their problems, but they showed love in the ways they knew and understood how... and saying "I love you" was not the number one way of expressing love.

Nevertheless, my wife is very free in her use of the words "I love you" to me. Whenever we see each other, she'll say "I love you" at least once. Whenever we talk on the phone she'll say "I love you" at least once. In fact, it's rare if I heard "I love you" from her only once. And that is wonderful!

I love my wife!

I love that my wife is beautiful

NOTE: what I am about to write is very subjective. As the old saying goes, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." But my point is that the beholder must see that "beauty".

OK... Call me superficial. But, I don't believe anyone when they say that looks are not important. What a sorry foundation and hopeless start to a marriage when you say things like:

- I don't care about my spouses looks (i.e. I don't care that he/she is "ugly"), or
- I'll learn to love and be attracted to my spouse, or
- God wants to punish me with an unattractive spouse (btw, this one is an absolute lie!), or
- I'm not very attractive so I can't expect an attractive spouse.

There are too many issues and factors that WILL cause strain and hurts (sometimes) and riffs in your relationship. That is what happens when two very different people come together to live. Marriage is work! But to throw the issue of not being attracted to your spouse makes no sense. If you don't at the very least feel attracted to your spouse, what, praytell, will keep you fighting for your relationship when real problems arise?

Of course, there is more to being attracted to your spouse than just physical beauty. I acknowledge that. But, you MUST find your spouse beautiful (or handsome or pretty or whatever word you want to use).

And I do find my wife beautiful. She is oh so beautiful to me, and I thank God for giving me such a beautiful wife. She might not be "beautiful" to you... But, honestly, I don't care! I find her beautiful and that is all that matters. I do not dread going to bed with her. I am not afraid of what I will see when I wake up in the morning. I am not ashamed or uncomfortable walking in public with her around my arm. Actually, I feel VERY VERY privileged, honoured and blessed.

I love my wife's sweetness

My wife is so sweet. You know how most people are salty when you lick them... not my wife :)

I'm kinding! That's not what I mean... of course.

No, she is very sweet. She has been "extra" sweet lately... or maybe I'm noticing it more lately. That's why I wanted to write about that.

Sweetness is one of those intangible characteristics. It's hard to define. What one person finds sweet in a person may be different than another person. But the definitions I'm leaning towards are (i) Pleasing to the senses; agreeable, (ii) Pleasing to the mind or feelings; gratifying, (iii) Having a pleasing disposition; lovable, (iv) Kind; gracious.

My wife has not said anything or done anything that has annoyed me as of late (and please, you ARE lying if you say that there is a person in your life that has NEVER annoyed you... it happens... it's called life), and so I am noticing her sweetness even more now. Just today, she called me at work... just to say hi and I love you. That pleases me. She called with no agenda, no questions to ask, to business to take care of... she just called. That is sweetness to me.

I love my wife's sweetness!

I love that my wife is worth fighting for

It's not that I am fighting with anyone over my wife. There is no "other lover". There is no "boyfriend".

The fight I'm talking about is more metaphoric. It is a fight on the emotional and spiritual level rather than on the physical level.

My wife is too precious, too important to me to allow any circumstances or any momentary feelings to cause a rift between us. I've been through too much to get to this point in my relationship with her (from just getting married to where we are in our intimacy with one another) to let some minor issues set us back.

In other words, I will keep growing, learning, adapting, changing (however slow it may be), so that my relationship with my wife continues to grow, continues to be strengthen, and becomes a beacon and a symbol of marital bliss to others.

And the fact is that my wife is worth all the effort, all the fight, all the time, all the words, all the tears I can muster!

I love my wife's passion

I love my wife's passion. I know that passion can often be equated with drive, but there is a difference. My wife can be driven to accomplish various tasks and goals for a slew of reasons. But when there is a passion behind a particular task or goal, that is something else. I haven't seen my wife's passion much, because she is still finding out what she is most passionate about. But when she does come across a worthy "cause" to put her passion behind, all I can say is, "Watch out!"

I think there reason I love my wife's passion is that there is a greater joy, a greater enthusiasm, a greater happiness that comes over her. I love her passion because I myself am a very passionate person, and when I see my wife fired-up about something as I can get, that brings a joy and an excitement to my heart. I am most happy when I see my wife happy... and she is happy when she is full of passion!

I love my wife's drive

I haven't written in a while... and it is NOT because I don't love my wife anymore! I've just had a tough week/weekend. But that's OK, we keep moving forward and work things out as we go. There's no point in dwelling on the past, if it is painful. Anyway, this is not the point of this blog, if you want to know more, I'll be posting stuff on my other blog in the next few days... go check it out. So onto what this is all about... my beautiful wife.

I love my wife's drive. Sometimes I wish that I was as driven as she was. She persists and perserveres until she accomplishes her goals. I don't think there is one goal that she has not managed to overcome, since I've known her.

She occassionally tells me that she is not sure of what her dreams are. And, ok, maybe she doesn't have some grand vision or scheme of this ever-elusive "dream." But, she knows where she wants to go and what she wants to do, and she is taking all the steps to get there. And when she does not possess the knowledge or ability or skill, she will look for help to make sure she gets to her destination.

I'm excited to be by her side, to see where this adventure will lead us.

I love my wife's drive.